CW: Homophobia (Can be skipped by skipping Liam's section)
Five figures sit down, cramped in an underground medical center. The researcher: a wind ampithere swirled, speckled, splotched with subtle varieties of mist, storm, pewter, and charcoal, with just a select few scales glittering gold. But her glare is a determined silver as she stares down her patients.
Two nearly identical fat silver foxes sit across from her on the floor cushion, ample space between the three due to the presence of a low stone table covered in professional-looking papers. The foxes’ eyes mostly avoid each other, except for short, wary glances across the other's body.
The one on the left is middled aged and wears a light gray button-up and long work pants. Two symmetrical rose gold bands that he described as marriage bands encircle each of his thumbs. Each is decorated by two paws clasping a heart-shaped crystalline stud. He wears a nametag: Liam B. Cagney.
On the right, this fox only wears a plain black crop top and a flowing, knee-length black skirt. The right side of his face has been badly scarred, the eye missing as if the fur and flesh had melted away. He also wears a nametag: Zekiel. The only notable difference between the two seems to be their age, with Zekiel being quite a bit younger.
In between the three of them sits a small green and brown nature wyvern. She serves as the translator between Zekiel’s language (South Tabigaten), Liam’s language (...?) and the researcher’s language (Granite, a mid-central dwarven language that was used fairly universally around this subterranean city). Each time one of the three speaks, she translates it for the other two.
The fifth figure is a dwarf journalist woman at a desk in the corner. She writes everything that is said down word-for-word in Granite on a chunky bronze computer. She’ll release the logs to the public later, likely following these up with her own takes on the subjects discussed. The deep rapid thunks of the keyboard and occasional scratches of her beard are the only noises she makes.
Researcher: First of all, thank you both for agreeing to this more in-depth interview... I'm sure this is an… uncomfortable situation. You've already filled out the paperwork. You know what kinds of questions I'm going to ask. Still basic info, all of it. We just want to figure out how, uh, your species are linked. I will ask each question. Liam answers first, then Zekiel.
Liam: (Shifts uncomfortably in his seat, eyeing Zekiel nervously.)
Researcher: You must understand, Liam. We already know all there is to know about Zekiel’s species, daejiin. Daejiin have been part of our alliance since their creation. Zekiel's answers will mostly be for your information.
Liam: …Alright. (His voice wavers, clearly feeling like the odd one out.)
Researcher: Liam, what is your role in your society?
Liam: I’m, uh, a janitor. From out in the country. (He says it as if he’s ashamed of it.)
Researcher: So you would consider cleaning your entire role in society?
Liam: Well, yeah. It’s what I get paid to do. Wish I could tell ya different. (His eyebrows go up, amber eyes holding steady at the researcher’s. Liam’s species, or at least the specific intensely individualist culture he belongs to, seems to value and sometimes even require eye contact.)
Researcher: Zekiel, what is your role in society?
Zekiel: I relax. I write sometimes. I eat.
Liam, laughing: …So my doppelganger is living in luxury?
Researcher: That’s quite the average response you’ll get from a daejiin actually. They aren’t expected to work to live.
Liam, baffled: Riiight. (He either doesn’t believe it or thinks there must be a catch.)
Researcher: Next question. Liam, is your species native to the planet we found you on?
Liam: …Native to? Well, yeah! I told you, we ain’t never talked to aliens before… before you brought me to this world, I guess. I mean, I always believed… but admittedly, I thought you’d be all poking at me and dissecting me and shit. But I tell you what, you do by me a lot better than most of the folks at home.
Researcher: Why dissect you when we could just talk to you? …But I understand the fear. There’s a reason why we haven’t made our existence known to any of your world governments… yours is quite likely to dissect us. When we found your planet, we needed to contact an average citizen far away from any large cities or government sites. ..Well, I say “we”, but really the Xorryaddans are responsible for all of the space travel capabilities. Without them, we never would have found your world in the first place.
Liam: Xarrzaddins… (He pronounces it rather wrong.) Those freaky fellas with no eyes?
Researcher: Oh, they have eyes, alright.
Liam: (His own eyes widen. The statement vexes and haunts him.) So you guys are all… some big allyship whatever? (He gestures to everyone else in the room, but also up at the ceiling towards the surface, where billions of dragons, dwarves, elves, orcs, kobolds, uncountable sophonts are dwelling around the Realms.)
Researcher: Yes, all of us here in the Realms, as well as our alien allies daejiin, xaeviin, bervain, reyins, Xorryaddans, Pyrexians… (She taps her chin with the top of one feathered wing, trying to remember if she’s missed any species before sighing and giving up.) Let me be straight with you, Liam. Part of the reason we’re conducting this interview is to understand the actions of your government and the state of your world. We want to know who you are as an individual and as a society. We’ve done plenty of our own research, but we need your actual experiences to back up our findings. How does your government treat its citizens?
Liam, eyes still wide: Now there’s a question for the ages. I, pff… (He’s doing all sorts of hand motions as he tries to put his thoughts to words.)
Researcher: Earlier, you sounded ashamed of being a janitor. A school janitor. You protect your world’s children from sanitation concerns. Do you feel you receive the proper respect for your service?
Liam: Whaddaya want me to do, ask for a raise? (He’s laughing incredulously.) It ain’t that simple. Some get the good end of the stick.
Researcher: What do you mean?
Liam: I was born into a poor family. Couldn’t afford college. Can’t just relax and eat all day. (He shoots a glare at Zekiel.)
Researcher: Zekiel, how does your government treat its citizens?
Zekiel: We don’t have a government.
Researcher: (Nodding.) See, Liam, we have many different types of governments here in the realms. The Xorryaddans have a direct democracy. Most daejiin have no government at all.
Liam, suspicious: Hmm…
Researcher: (Uses her prehensile tail to slide out a black sheet of paper with vaguely glowing white ink on it) I have a list of worldwide issues to check for here, initially agreed upon by the Xorryaddan population, but also approved by votes and officials from other allied species. Your world’s governments seem to have quite a few issues based on your answers, along with our own research. Presence of poverty and/or a harsh class divide. Artificial scarcity or intentional withholding of food, water, shelter, and/or healthcare from citizens. Large power differential between citizen and government. Disrespect towards blue-collar workers. Would you say any of these sound like something you experience?
Liam: What the- I was fine coming in here, answering some questions, but now you’re expecting me to agree to some communist bullshit?
Researcher: (Exchanges a concerned glance with Zeke.) Rest assured, we aren’t going to do anything. As much as we want to feed your hungry, we have a strict ethical policy when interacting with unfamiliar planets. We cannot just begin raining free food from your world’s skies. We’d run the risk of interfering with your world’s cultures or disrupting your world’s animal ecosystem. This is why we have you here as our first sophont contact. After you, we can begin bringing in diverse individuals from all around your world to understand their experiences. We want at least a couple thousand within the next few years.
Liam: I thought this was supposed to be about why the hell I look like him! (He gestures wildly to Zekiel.)
Researcher: It’s about that too. Would you prefer if I ask some questions about your species and biology?
Liam: Sure, whatever. (He still seems angry and frazzled, but relieved that the topic of conversation is no longer politics.)
Researcher: Our xenobiology team is already doing their own research, so it’s okay if your answer isn’t perfect. What do you call your species?
Liam: I’m a silver fox.
Researcher: You don’t have a different name that you call the sophont present on your planet? Zekiel over here is a silver fox too, but as you know, his overarching species is called daejiin.
Liam: No, no, I’m just a silver fox!
Researcher: Understood. So you wouldn’t consider yourself the same species as someone in your world who looks like a grizzly bear?
Liam: No.
Researcher: But would that grizzly bear have mostly the same biology as you?
Liam: (His demeanor suddenly shifts, more lighthearted again.) I mean, I had a bear girlfriend in high school, but I broke up with her the moment she got more than three inches taller than me. Big god damn growth spurt! I couldn’t even hold her paw anymore, the thing was twice the size of mine! I said to her, I can’t date a woman I can’t even wrap my hand around her paw. (He laughs heartedly.)
Researcher: But everyone in your world possesses a similar biological structure even though you consider them a different species? Forgive me, I just want to understand how you understand yourself.
Liam: I mean, sorta. Another reason I knew it was just a high school fling is cuz I couldn’t have kids with her… need another fox. Could be a red fox or a kit fox or a fennec or another silver, but gotta be a fox. Hybrids are some damn rare odds.
Liam had mentioned in his first interview that he kept the marriage bands from his first wife, whom he’d had two kits with, but was currently unmarried. His wife had left him a few years after he’d picked up smoking, as she had a sensitivity to smoke that Liam swore was faked just to try and force him to quit. The research team had seemed disappointed that they wouldn’t get to hear his ex wife’s side of the story.
Researcher: (She decides not to bring up his lack of a current wife and kids.) So- and don’t take this as any sort of judgment, as none is intended- you won’t consider dating another species?
Liam: Hell no.
Researcher: Alright. Wait. So you raise your kids… in a private home that you own and nobody else can enter without your permission? (Not a single species in the alliance uses a nuclear family structure. Most of these species have accepted communal child-raising as a universal truth.)
Liam: At home, yes, but they go to school and hear propaganda from their teachers all day.
Researcher: …Propaganda?
Liam: Yeah, all kinds of crap, so I home schooled mine ‘til my wife left. After the divorce, she sent them off to public school, god damnit.
Researcher: Don’t you work at a public school?
Liam: Yes, so I see what they teach first hand! All this queer stuff. (He gives a side-eye to Zekiel.) No offense, Zekiel. Nothing against you, I just think the schools take it a little too far.
Zekiel, clearly confused: What?
Liam, embarrassed: What with the way you dress and all, I just figured you were, y’know…
Researcher: Daejiin are all the same gender. They don’t have the same concept of gay and straight that you and I do.
Liam: W-what?! Like, they all have the same shit in their pants? How do they have kids?!
Zekiel: (Most daejiin cultures are incredibly comfortable with the topic of biology, nudity, and sexuality. Zekiel is unphased by the question.) We can have a penis or a vagina or some combination of both. We just don’t use gender labels. And we don’t have kids. I mean, we have sex, but we’re infertile. Each of us was created artificially by our gods. You can call me whatever you want in your gendered languages, but we don’t have any of that in mine.
Liam: (He puts a palm on his forehead in a combination of disdain and embarrassment.) Okay, whatever, I, okay. Wow! I’m just old fashioned, okay?! Dunno about all that!
Zekiel, bluntly: I have no idea what that means.
Liam: …So all daejiin are gay?
Zekiel, smirking: Yeah, I guess you can put it that way.
Researcher: You care about whether they’re gay more than you care about the “created artificially by their gods” part?
Liam, shifting uncomfortably: I, uh, didn’t catch that part. (He’s lying.)
Zekiel, matter-of-factly: The first daejiin were only created a couple thousand years ago. We don’t have a long storied history like your species does. The gods just made the first daejiin and plopped them down on our planet, renamed it Daeji after us, and then claimed we owned the place and could do whatever we wanted to it. Apparently they even terraformed it for us. Continents used to look different. And we did do whatever we wanted for a while, until it became clear that we were invasive. Unable to be killed by regular means, barely needing or eat or sleep, not needing to breathe, the only thing that prevented us from completely taking over Daeji was our passive nature and our inability to have kids. Eventually, we formed an alliance with Xaeviin, Bervain, and Reyins, the other sophonts on Daeji. Together, we realized that the gods had been incredibly unethical in creating us, and that gods aren’t actually supposed to be able to create anyone. They broke the laws of reality. It’s still a hot topic today. Personally, I don’t think gods should exist at all. I’d kill them myself, over and over until they descended back to mortality if I could. I mean, I wasn’t alive during all of that, I’m only 25, but they’re not making any more new daejiin because a lot of us kind of collectively told them to fuck off.
Liam doesn’t say anything, just stares in awe as he slowly begins to grasp what Zekiel is implying about the nature of reality.
Liam: Gods? You must be mistaken. There is only one God.
Zekiel: Incorrect.
Liam, laughing nervously: Well, you have your beliefs, I have mine.
Zekiel: Beliefs? No, I’ve seen one of them in person before. Quite unpleasant. I’d like to kill it.
Liam: That was not God… it was an abomination.
Zekiel, satisfied: We agree there.
Researcher: The only possible explanation for your visual similarities that I can come up with, personally, is that the gods took visual inspiration from the species on Liam’s world when they created daejiin.
Zekiel: I wouldn’t be surprised. But wait, wouldn’t that imply they already knew about Liam’s world thousands of years ago?
The interview continues, but the other discoveries that are made are more mundane: the researcher learns a bit about city structure and general infrastructure in rural versus more urban areas. Liam is released back to his freely provided temporary housing until his trip back to his world, scheduled for a few weeks when the interplanetary wormhole system is finally able to function again. The thing is so powerful that it can only function at such long distances once per month.
A month later, five figures sit in the very same room. The researcher, the translator, the journalist, and three more individuals from the newly discovered world.
The first introduces herself as Amira, a hoopoe with a warm expression even under a layer of fear. She says she enjoys baking and weaving, but still seems incredibly on edge in such a strange place and was not willing to answer many further questions.
The second is Jaden Morgenthau, a river otter who works as a freelance artist and writer. The accessibility team had done a mini interview earlier with them to ensure their wheelchair would be compatible with the accessibility features available in the Realms. They’d also spent quite a bit of the morning talking to the journalist about the differences between how the news is conducted in the Realms versus on their home world.
The third just introduced herself as Brick. She’s a king cobra who describes herself as a punk and an activist, decorated head to toe in pins and patches on a torn gray vest and pants covered in far too many belts. The lower half at least sort of resembles the type of leather armor commonly worn by kobolds in the Realms. She’s gotten quite a few compliments on her appearance since her arrival, but she quickly and tactfully flirts back only to the ladies.
The three introduce themselves to each other and to the researcher, and the researcher goes through the necessary informed consent discussion, even though most of the paperwork was completed upon arrival in the Realms.
Researcher: Okay, so as you know, you’re our second round of interviewers. We’re trying to figure out a safe way to establish contact with your world that won’t cause mass panic, and we worry that your governments may act erratically or attempt to hide our existence if we were to reveal ourselves to them. We are not planning on revealing ourselves for a long time, and instead are currently planning on just gathering as many opinions as possible from random citizens. First, we brought in one individual, and now you three. What do you think would be the best course of action for-?
Brick, interrupting boldly: Don’t say shit to any of our governments, man. (She leans forward, crossing her arms on the table and holding steady, intimidating eye contact with the researcher.) I’ve been asking anyone I come across here questions, looking around, and you have some good shit going on here. Not like back at home. You don’t want to lose this. They’ll blow your shit up for whatever resources they can find. The woods, the crystals, the oil, the magic shit. Won't be yours anymore.
Jaden, nodding: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Brick, speaking up again before the researcher has a chance to respond: We can make a deal here. Our world is fucked. Yours isn’t. You see where I’m going? Let’s make a deal, or something.
Jaden, starting to sweat: Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far…
Researcher: Like I said to our first interviewee, we won’t be going that far for quite a long time, if at all. We can’t just barge in and start giving out food without your government noticing. Even if we frame it as some plausible event, odds are they’ll punish the average citizen for it somehow.
Brick: No, no, I mean something more subtle. You guys just provide some sustenance to our activists and social movements. We’ll do the heavy lifting.
Researcher: I believe you could change your world on our own, I really do. You wouldn’t even need our help. I believe every world is capable of great change. And we’d be happy to help, but we don’t even know enough about your activists and social movements to do something like that yet. That’s why you’re here for interviews. So please, Brick, you seem to know a lot about this. Tell me what plagues your world.
Brick: Aw, fuck, that’s the question, isn’t it? (Her body jingles as she moves, her spiked jewelry and chains clanking against each other.) Disease, hunger, cops, the rich. Fuck ‘em all.
Jaden: You guys brought all my medications with you. Which like, I was creeped out when I saw that ship. But one of the first things the pilot asks after explaining why they were picking me up was about any medications or medical issues they should be aware of, and I already felt safer than I had in a long time. Still scary, but like. I don’t know. Any other kidnapper wouldn’t have done that for me.
Researcher: I understand. We’ve had to accept the fact that many of the people we bring here may come to resent us. No matter how much consent we get and how much we try to be reasonable, here’s no way around the fear and discomfort I’m sure you experienced when you found out aliens are real, and in fact quite plentiful. Your planet is an odd one, sequestered away from other life-filled planets. Or perhaps it is our region of space that is odd for being so full of life. We aren’t quite sure about that yet.
The explanation seems to calm Jaden down quite a bit, but she still reaches down into her bag to take a hydroxyzine pill.
Researcher, gently: Amira, I know this is still pretty overwhelming for you. Do you have any thoughts on all this?
Amira silently shakes her head. Jaden asks Amira if she has any medication allergies, and Amira shakes her head. Then they offer her one of their pills, but she shakes her head again.
Researcher: Understood. No need to speak if you aren’t comfortable doing so.
Brick: You really gonna send me home in a month?
Researcher: We’re required to, yes. Permanent abductions are unethical.
Brick: Okay, but what if theyre consensual? Bodily autonomy and all that, you can’t send me home if I don’t want to go home, right?
Jaden, joking: Really, and abandon your cause at home just like that?
Brick: …It cool if I touch you? Just in a funnyguy way.
Jaden: Go ahead, haha.
Brick: (She playfully punches Jaden in the shoulder, carefully angling it to avoid touching their wheelchair.) Fuck you! …You’re right, though.
Researcher: We can’t make you leave. But keep in mind that our interplanetary portal needs a month to recharge. If you don’t leave this month, the next way out is a whole nother month ahead. While we provided a valid reason for your disappearance, your loved ones are still going to wonder where you are
Brick: (She’s putting her hands behind her head and yawning, revealing a pair of massive fangs that fold back down as she closes her mouth.) Yeah yeah yeah, my like, two friends. They’ll be fine with whatever explanation you give them. Not that we don’t love each other, but we do make a habit of disappearing sometimes. Autism thing, I guess.
Jaden: Hey, same. (They shake hands with Brick.)
Amira, quietly: Me too! (For the first time, she speaks up, and Jaden and Brick quickly welcome her into a conversation about being autistic, which lasts for a couple minutes until the researcher realizes they are running out of time.)
Researcher: I hate to interrupt! You’ve shared a lot of valuable information already, but I do have more questions.
Brick: Yes ma’am. (She does a goofy salute.)
Researcher: So, being a reptile, are you cold-blooded, Brick?
Brick, in the exact same intonation as before: Yes ma’am.
Researcher: Amira, you don’t have any wings. Have you encountered any aarakocra during your time in the Realms so far? If so, what are your thoughts on your visual similarity to them?
Amira, sheepishly: Um. I didn’t think about it, but that’s weird.
Researcher: We think it’s just convergent evolution. Same with our tabaxi’s similarity to your world’s feline species. Still, it’s odd, isn’t it? With daejiin, we could explain the fact that their gods created them to look like your world’s species intentionally. But we’ve been stumped ever since we discovered your world’s birds and felines. No thoughts on that?
Amira silently shakes her head.
Brick, chiming in: What the fuck is a daejiin?
Researcher, baffled: Were you not briefed on Liam’s interview?
Jaden: We were. (They turn their head towards Brick.) But you were off flirting with some girl at a bar!
Brick, slyly: Maybe so.
Researcher: Okay, that’s fine. Someone can brief you again later. Or you can just go out and find a daejiin. Sometimes you won’t be able to tell the difference between a bird-like daejiin and an aarakocra. You just have to ask. Sometimes daejiin will respond to that question by contorting their bodies in ways that only daejiin can, though, so try not to get too freaked out.
Brick: (She slams her fists down on the stone table) Dude, really?! Oh shit, I need to meet one! (She pulls out a leather bound notebook from a pack by her side, both of which clearly originated from within the Realms. She allows the notebook to fall open to a random page, full of messy sketches and notes about Xorryaddan anatomy.) I gotta make another one of these for Daejiin!
Researcher: Oh, you’ll have fun with that. They barely have any organs.
Brick: Fuck, you can’t just tell me this when I’m supposed to be sitting here doing an interview.
The researcher smirks and flicks the feathery crests along her head, signaling that Brick can be dismissed if she so wishes. Brick announces that she’ll see Jaden and Amira later before sprinting full speed from the room, jingling all the way. Amira is giggling, covering her beak with one taloned hand, and Jaden is rolling their eyes in an exaggerated exasperation.
A month later, a much larger number of interviewees is picked up. The researcher is tired; she’s been interviewing these aliens all day, and one final group of four walks in the door. Some major truths have been uncovered, with the most important being that the world these species are from is incredibly intricate and nuanced, even beyond comprehension of the Realms. The simple, the fantastical, the easy-to-digest does not exist on this incredibly alien planet. Though some of the people look nearly identical to those in the Realms, their way of life is so much more complex.
Perhaps, the research team reasons, it is the fault of the stark lack of magic on their world. After some measurements of latent energy in the atmosphere were taken, the Xorryaddan ship pilots discovered that there was absolutely no latent magic present on this planet, meaning that dragons who visited the planet would become completely unable to use their oh-so-important elemental magics, nor would anyone else learning magic be able to utilize it there.
This group consists of four butch-presenting individuals in a polyamorous relationship. Florent Allaire, transmasculine fossa always wearing something masculine yet revealing, like a tacky open button-up, crop top, backwards baseball cap, and cargo shorts. He’s a bit underweight and visibly shudders when even slightly anxious, which is always, tapping his claws together quickly.
Roxy, a dart frog trans lesbian who is still scene despite being the oldest of the four. She wears a black wig with colorful striped accents and matching striped thigh highs and arm warmers, a spiked choker that Brick would have loved, and a bunch of cutesy jewelry in her hair and on her graphic tee which displays some popular but not too popular cartoon character. Notably, she’s fat and curvy, the latter of which is only notable because one would assume a frog wouldn’t normally have breasts. Nobody would be rude enough to ask her about it, but she explains that she’s absolutely fascinated by surgery, and that they are in fact surgical implants, and that most reptilians and amphibians in her world don’t have breasts at all.
Chuck Randy Sawyer, a non-binary lesbian gila monster that dresses exclusively as a cowboy and refused to give up his pistol upon entry to the Xorryaddan ship. This almost disqualified the entire group from entry to the Realms, but the others managed to convince the pilots that Chuck simply doesn’t go anywhere he can’t defend himself. Chuck is sturdy, with a decently thick padding of muscle.
Samacius, a lanky oarfish who described its gender as “a being from beyond reality, the churning of the sea, the violence of the winds, the crack of lightning strike, a waterspout, a beast born of blood and bile.” Samacius, too, almost got the group disqualified when the Xorryaddan pilots caught sight of the many elaborate melee weapons attached to its fantastical all-black garb. But Samacius, apparently, told the pilots an incredibly intriguing riddle and was thus allowed entry with no further request to disarm itself.
Researcher, tensely: You know, it’s a bit odd sitting across from two armed alien individuals, one heavily so. I hate to think of you as aliens, but the truth is that your species are not part of our alliance yet, and therefore you understand that we are a bit… intimidated… by allowing your weapons on our world when we don’t even understand their capabilities. But I also understand that you are here on a planet that is alien to you. Self-defense would be second nature to me in your shoes, too.
Chuck, simply: Yup.
Researcher: Well, okay. This interview will be quick, because I’m tired and I need to eat. Let’s go in order from left to right. Simple questions. First, we’re getting your perspective on the different species in your world and how they interact. What does your species mean to you each?
Florent, uncomfortably: O-oh, do I have to go first? (He’s looking at his partners for emotional support, and Chuck offers a warm nod. Roxy slaps his back playfully but hard enough that a whimper escapes his muzzle.) I, uh, well, okay. I don’t know, my parents always told me to be proud of being a fossa, but I don’t really know. I, I just exist. (An answer that is so afraid of being wrong that it attempts to placate everybody.)
Roxy: Lemme answer for my gayboy here, uh, fossas are funky and smell kinda bad and got freaky junk and it’s my favorite thing ever. And Florent here is a fine specimen! (She keeps her hand on his shoulder, shaking him vigorously with every point she makes.)
Florent seems on the edge of panic, but it’s clearly due to the fact that he’s the center of attention on an alien planet, and not because he’s uncomfortable with anything she’s actually saying. Despite the brash comments, the four seem incredibly comfortable with each other boundary-wise. He seems to calm down as Samacius starts talking.
Samacius: The deep sea is the expectation for more. For the infinite. The bottomless. Such empty space. The vast calls out to you. But even beneath the deepest trench, there is crust, magma, core.
Chuck, smirking: Gotta love gilas. Good food, good music, good people.
Researcher, confounded: Thank you Chuck. (It’s clear she didn’t get much out of the other three. Roxy didn’t even say anything about herself, but she’s too tired to question her again.) Next, how would you improve the state of your world?
Florent, speaking up quickly for once: Um, it’s so hard to like… talk to people. Everyone’s polite, but they’re not kind. I mean, these three are kind- (He gestures to his partners.)- but then, they’re not very polite. That’s the kind of person I think does more good.
Researcher: Explain.
Florent: Polite people say please and thank you, but they don’t care about you. Old manners practiced simply for tradition’s sake, with empty hearts, just to get through the day. I don’t want to just get through the day, I want to actually be there for people. I constantly feel like my time is running out. (He’s suddenly a competent speaker, tapping his claws now against the cold stone of the table) I walk around every day, interacting with people who say, “Hi, how are you?” But they don't give a fuck how I feel. I’m supposed to say, “Fine, you?” And they’ll say, “Good.” Then you talk about the weather. But the people who claim to actually care about making the world a safer place are too busy fighting one another over stupid shit than actually making a difference. My grandmother’s trailer is getting taken by some landlord guy while those people are busy fighting over the definition of bisexual on the internet. But the people who actually do go out and make a difference end up dead, or just silenced. Everything’s plastic. We’re so powerless.
Silence weighs heavy in the room for a moment while Florent chokes back tears. Roxy speaks up to try and cover for him.
Roxy: Umm… do you guys have weed?
Researcher: Weed? Like plants?
Roxy: Like drugs.
Researcher: Uh, we do have drugs, yes.
Roxy: Okay, well weed isn’t legal in our country and it sucks.
Researcher: Noted.
Roxy gives her two thumbs up and a big grin.
Samacius, dead-eyed: There is an imbalance deep in the earth. You’ll smell chemicals soon. The heavens are calling, but we may be too far gone.
Chuck: Don’t get it twisted. Good old-fashioned capitalism is our world’s problem.
Researcher: We’re all on the same page there, then. But you see, we can’t just charge in and change your world’s government without also potentially doing some serious damage. We’ve been considering how to go about this for a few months, now. Charging in and trying to fix things ourselves will result in many deaths. Doing nothing will result in deaths from continued capitalism, too. I’m not an expert in the political process or anything, but we are organizing a mass information-spreading campaign. We want to inform the citizens of our world about yours, using the information we gather during these interviews, because discovering new species is normal for us. It won’t result in mass panic, like it would on your world.
Chuck: That’s all well and good, but how do you expect us to just… return to our lives?
Researcher: We don’t. You’re welcome here any time. But I expect at least some of you four have jobs and families you’re obligated to that you’ll want to get back to.
Florent: Um, if we go home, how would we get back?
Researcher: There’s a transponder we give our visitors. It’ll ping any Xorryaddan ships that are currently stationed around your planet. But like the location we found you in, you’ll need to be somewhere very remote at night for the ship to respond. Nobody else around.
Florent: What if I lose it?
Roxy, baffled: We won’t lose it!
Chuck, weary: I won’t. You two will.
Samacius: Such fleeting memories. Such is the nature of time. Soon all will be dust.
Chuck: Make that you three.
Researcher: Uh, okay, well try not to lose it. At least it’s fingerprint activated, so the ship won’t respond if you lose it and someone else pings it. They’ll probably just think it’s a broken walky-talky. But hopefully that won’t happen. You keep it safe, Chuck.
Chuck: I will.
Brick wanders in, having decided to stay in the Realms. She locks eyes with Chuck for a moment before her scales go pale.
Brick: Woah.
Chuck, smirking: I could say the same to you, handsome.
Brick, flustered: I- um.
Researcher: What are you doing in here, Brick?! I’m conducting an interview!
Brick: Just wondering if it’s cool I leave town tonight?
Researcher: As long as you’re with a chaperone who can translate for you, you can go anywhere you want. I mean, don’t leave the mountains unless by portal or you know someone who can fly you back. But I’m sure you-
Brick: I’m going to Okron for a concert!
Chuck: What kinda music? Long as it ain’t electronic, count me in.
Roxy, over it: Ugh, Chuck, you are such a hater!
Brick: Fuck yeah man, it’s some power metal group. You have any idea what a tiefling is?! We’re about to find out! (She exchanges a pleading glance with the researcher, who needs little convincing. She really wants to go.)
Researcher: Hold up, Okron?! The largest city in the Realms?!
Florent visibly panics at the sound of it, reaching for a pair of ear plugs in his pockets, and Roxy squeezes him in reassurance as the four get up and start walking towards Brick.
Brick: Hell yeah, let’s go!
Researcher: Wait, who’s going to be your chaperone?!
Brick: Anyone? (She opens her arms towards the researcher, translator, and journalist.)
Journalist: Aw hell, I can’t say no to that. (She stopped typing a while ago.) I don’t speak your language fluently, but I can do what matters.
Researcher: …Fine. But be safe. We can’t have any casualties on our hands because you decided to get a little too crazy in a fucking mosh pit full of dragons.
Brick: Aww, you know me so well! Bye!
Roxy winks at Chuck as he links arms with Brick and the two start getting to know each other. Samacius is definitely staring at Brick’s thick tail. Florent giggles and limps his wrist, keeping his hands in a raptor pose as he starts skipping a bit behind the group.
Researcher: (She turns her head to the translator.) Despite everything, I love this job.